Division of Property and Debts in Florida Divorce

When you’re married to somebody, you don’t just share a bed and a table, you share a house – a car – a couch – a TV. You share all of your favorite CDs, books and movies; linens and towels; bank accounts, bonds, stocks and properties. You share debt, or “liabilities.” These include mortgages and car loans, credit card accounts and any other amounts of money you and your spouse owed to another party. When you file for a divorce, these things don’t just “disappear”—rather, they’re divided.

In Florida, the distribution of property can either be one of the easiest aspects of divorce, or one of the most complex. It is only easy when both parties agree on who gets what, and who pays off what debts. However, this rarely happens. When the two parties can’t agree, the division of properties is left up to the judge. The judge then calls for an “equitable distribution” of marital assets and liabilities.

Despite the term “equitable,” marital property is divided fairly, but not necessarily equally. How the judge determines who gets what is based off a list of factors that they must first consider. Among those factors, there is duration of marriage, economic circumstance and the contribution of each spouse to the marriage.

To learn more about how your assets might be divided in a Florida divorce, check out the Florida Bar’s page on Property Division at: http://bit.ly/15Z6pxp

Florida Alimony Law: It’s Time for a Change, but Is This the Right Change?

Florida’s alimony laws were created back in a time when women had little to no economic power, when divorce was uncommon and when family values were honored above all else – even in times of unhappiness. Back then, the man was the breadwinner, and the woman the homemaker. Because of this, in Florida, permanent alimony is granted to the under-earning half of a divorcing couple (traditionally the woman), and will continue to be granted until death. There are many people who argue that this is unfair, and that a lifetime is plenty of time for the under-earning spouse to become self-sufficient. These people are pushing for a reform of the existing alimony laws, and an end to permanent alimony.

But these people aren’t taking into account the kinds of problems that this reform could present – to the providers and the receivers alike. There are some situations, yes, where permanent alimony is not appropriate—but then there are just as many, or more, where it is. There are thousands of women who got divorced during a time when women couldn’t easily get jobs – when their job was to stay at home and take care of the children – and if the alimony reform were to pass, those women—women who don’t have any job experience—would be left without any income or any sense of security whatsoever.

Another thing to think about is standard of living: While married, two people share the same standard of living. If you’re married to somebody for a length of time, you become used to the life you and your spouse shared together, but, if the new alimony reform were to pass, a divorce would mean that only one person would get to keep living that lifestyle, while the other would be forced to live far below the standards they had been used to. This not only affects you and your ex, but, if you have children, it drastically affects them as well.

I am not saying that permanent alimony is right for everyone – there are definitely situations in which the under-earning spouse is perfectly capable of going out and getting a good job themselves. But it is not these people I am worried about – it is the current recipients of permanent alimony – women (typically), who were married to their husbands for 20+ years – who took care of their children and the home in lieu of getting a job because they wanted a good home life – who are in jeopardy of losing everything they may or may not have deserved to lose.

Hopefully people will give this reform more thought before it passes and they realize they’ve made a huge mistake. Learn more at: http://bit.ly/ZPukf4

No Situation is Too Bleak to Get the Outcome that is Best for You And Your Children

When you’re going through a divorce, the world can seem dark and the future bleak, especially if children are involved. Your whole world has just been turned on its axis – you’re unsure of what is going to become of you and your children – you don’t know what the next step is, and you’re not quite sure you would be ready for it even if you did know. There are so many issues that need to be resolved, and so many questions left to be answered, before you can even consider moving forward. The process becomes even harder when the life you were living wasn’t planned.

According to a study done by The National Campaign, unplanned pregnancies are the root of many issues, one of which is turmoil between the parents. When an unplanned pregnancy occurs, often times there is reduced relationship happiness, increased conflict and turmoil, and inevitably, a separation. If this has happened to you, you are probably in a state of confusion, anger and hurt. You are also probably unsure of how to proceed, especially if the baby was born before you and your ex decided to get married. This is where I step in.

When you come to me for help, I want you to trust me to get the outcome that is best for you and your children, whatever the situation may be. My goal is to help you preserve the healthy family relationship as much as possible, guard your children’s best interests and reach for an amicable settlement between you and your ex. We can only do this once we’ve established a relationship based on trust – when we have trust, we can improve your chances of success, re-instill hope in your life and help you begin the next chapter in a way that is healthiest for you and your child. 
To see how I can help you through this tough time, check out our website at: http://www.jacksonvillebeachlawyer.com/

Relocation: How it Might Affect Your Custody Agreement

Once a divorce is finalized and a custody arrangement is agreed upon, many parents think that they are free to do anything and go anywhere they like – so long as they have their children to the other parent at the agreed upon place and time. This is especially true when a move is involved.

Oftentimes, when a parent decides to relocate, they don’t feel a need to talk with their ex about it, and more often than not, they don’t even mention the move until after it is finalized. Not discussing a move with your child’s other parent though can be detrimental to your parental status, and can cause a major disruption in the custody agreement.

If you are moving within a few miles of your current location, you should still discuss it with your child’s other parent, but it should not be a big deal. However, if you are considering a move farther than 50 miles, the situation can become complex. Changes to almost all of the original agreement will have to implemented – everything from visitation, to time sharing and child support—even if you weren’t paying child support before. If you are considering moving out of Florida, matters can grow even stickier.

People move for various reasons: They don’t like the neighborhood they’re in; they get a new job; the schools are better in the new area; housing is cheaper; it’s just time. When you’re single, and you don’t have kids, your reasons for relocation are no one’s business but your own. However, you do have children, and this move will affect them, which is why it is best to speak to a Jacksonville Beach lawyer before anything is set in stone. A lawyer can help you follow the law and protect your rights to move – in the best interests of your child – and to avoid all the hassle and legal problems that are bound to arise if you move on the sly.

If you are considering moving, get the advice of an experienced, knowledgeable lawyer first, or check out our page, Child Custody and Relocation Cases – What You Should Know, at http://www.jacksonvillebeachlawyer.com/jacksonville-beach-family-law-attorney/child-custody-relocation.html

Divorce Does Not Affect Children – The Fighting Does

Going through a divorce is hard on both the man and woman, no matter what the circumstances are, but it becomes even more painful when there are children involved. Many parents worry over issues like, When will I see my child? Will I have to pay child support? Where can I move to? Who will be in charge of the major life-rearing decisions? And the big one, How do I let my child know that this was not their fault? All of these concerns are valid, and are good questions to think about – in a civil manner. Yet, many couples, when they split up, can’t make it past the emotional turmoil and oftentimes blinding anger, to make these decisions in a calm, courteous fashion. Whether they mean to or not, divorcing couples unwittingly drag their children into a battle of “He said this” or “She did that” – a battle that leaves the children confused and unsure of which parent is right – or, in a child’s mind, which parent is the “Good guy.” And, despite the parents’ best intentions, this fighting leaves the children feeling like the whole mess is their fault.

Emotional Toll of a High-Conflict Divorce on Your Child

In high conflict divorce cases, the parents become so caught up in their disagreements that they can’t make a single decision regarding their children without involving the courts. Compromising is out of the question, so decisions like holiday and vacation schedules – time and place of exchange – daycare – healthcare – extracurricular activities and who will attend parent -teacher conferences all become points of contention that turn every aspect of parenting in a burden.

Numerous studies have been done that show that it’s not the divorce itself that affects the children – it is the fighting and harsh words that follow that do. High conflict divorce is the cause for many behavioral and emotional disturbances in children, and, depending on a number of other factors, it can leave a lasting impression on a child for years to come. How your child reacts to conflict depends on:
• the age of your child
• the intensity of the conflict
• the degree of violence or fear of violence associated with the conflict
• the degree and length of time in to which your child has been exposed to all of the conflict or just fragments of it
• the psychological health of your child

Age is a hugely important factor in determining how your child might react to conflict between you and your ex. See how your child might react, and how you can make the whole process easier on them:

Infants and Toddlers

Your child begins to develop a basic understanding of trust and relationships between the ages of 0 and 3. Because of this, all children in this age group require a level of predictability, consistency and routine that will help them feel secure in their parents’ love for them. If you and your spouse decide to get a divorce during this time in your child’s life, they experience a loss that they can’t comprehend, as well as a major disturbance in their routine. When this happens, it is crucial to the development of your child that they maintain the same kind of contact with both you and your ex that they had before, as well as a similar routine. If there is conflict, problems such as separation anxiety, depression, withdrawal, regression and even developmental delays can occur.

Preschoolers

Children between the ages of 3 and 5 are just beginning to develop their ability to understand language, feelings and relationships. Gender role identification is developing as well. In a healthy divorce situation, children can go about their home and school lives as normal, and enter kindergarten with high self-esteem and confidence. However, if your divorce is unhealthy, your preschooler will experience serious regression and anxiety. They can become confused because they don’t understand what is going on around them. They regress at activities such as toilet-training, sleeping and feeding, even if they were doing all perfectly fine before. Emotions such as irritability, and behavior like clinging, arise; if the conflict between you and your ex continues, your child can become aggressive and anxious. In some instances, however, they will view the divorce as their own fault, so they will try to become the “perfect child,” and neglect their own needs in favor of what you want. Though this is normal in the first year of divorce, if it continues after the first year, it could be a sign of a larger problem.

School Aged Children

School aged children thrive on structure and routine. This is a time in their lives when they form relationships with peers, learn the social rules, develop their creativity and establish their own rules. At this age, your child is beginning to differentiate between “fair” and “unfair.”
The years between your child’s 6th and 12th are also years where they begin to understand their own feelings, and learn how to express them in an appropriate way. How they develop in these areas will affect their self-esteem, as well as their relationships with you and your ex – preferring to do some activities with you, and others with the other – which is why divorce is already a very hard time for children of this age group.

If your child is old enough to understand the implications of divorce, they are also able to understand that your family is no longer a single unit – that they will have to do everything with mom during a given time, and with dad during another. If your child is on the younger end of the spectrum, they may experience sadness and longing for the return of your family unit; if your child is on the older end, they can become angry. Behaviors such as tantrums, regression, sleep deprivation, academic problems and aggression aren’t uncommon. If your divorce is a difficult one, however, your child may feel directly responsible; but, this age is all about fairness, so they will either try to please both you and your ex, or try to fix your marriage. Both of these scenarios are harmful to your child, as they can become overwhelmed by and vulnerable to each of your wants and needs, and neglect their own.

Adolescents

Teenagers are a lot like two year olds in that they’re beginning to gain independence – but this time, from their family. Some adolescents do this by acting out, while others do it in a more healthy fashion, one that includes their parents. No matter which group your child falls into, though, one thing is certain: Teenagers are moody, and tend to be reactive in their emotions. They are already feeling overwhelmed by the pressure of their friends and peers; they use poor judgment; and they are socially insecure. This is a hard time for you and your child alike, even in an intact home.

When a divorce happens at this point in your child’s life, already high emotions run even higher. They feel the loss of your family life more strongly – they feel unnecessary responsibility and guilt – and they feel profound anger. Teenagers are naturally self-centered as it is, so when their life is disrupted in this way, they can only think of how it’s affecting them. If you make it hard for them, they will begin to act out. Academic failure, depression, suicide, promiscuity and substance abuse are just a few of the corruptions your child may experience if you and your ex are too caught up in your own fight to notice what is happening in your teen’s life.

Don’t Make the Process Harder Than it Already Is

Divorce is an already extremely hard and emotionally trying time in both yours and your children’s lives. We know that you didn’t enter your marriage expecting to one day part ways for good, so it is understandable to feel anger – hurt – betrayal and even sadness when that time does come. But what you have to keep in mind during the whole process is that: Your children are innocent bystanders. You and your ex may no longer be husband and wife, but to your children, you’re still Mom and Dad. And you need to act like it.

Divorce does not need to be a battle. There is a better and easier way to be heard by your ex, and to get what you want out of the process. In fact, the smoother the process is – the less fighting that there is – the faster everything will be over, and the sooner you will be able to get on with your life. If you have children, and you’re going through a divorce that you just want to be over, contact our office today. We can help you come up with a plan that works best for your situation, that is healthiest for you and your children, and that will get you on the road to recovery and happiness in no time!