When You are Tempted to Withhold Your Child From Your Ex-Spouse

Divorce may be a time when you feel bitter towards your soon to be ex-spouse. You are ready to disentangle your life from the other person. Yet, if children are involved you will probably always be at least somewhat tied to the ex-spouse. This reality may be so difficult for some people to face that it may cause them to try to minimize the other parent’s involvement in the children’s lives. They may think they know what is in the children’s best interest. But really they want to “get back” at the other partner. I have heard of well-meaning people making it difficult for the other parent to see his or her children. Whatever the reason, a parent risks losing a lot of time with their child if he/she is keeping that child from the other parent.

 

Withholding a child can be done without realizing it. This can be done in subtle ways such as saying negative things about the ex-spouse, or sharing details of your divorce situation with the child. It can also be done on purpose. One blatant example might be not being home when the other parent comes to spend time with the child.

 

Florida family courts prefer a shared custody arrangement that allows both parents to enjoy plenty of time with the child(ren). The court will always attempt to establish child custody (or time sharing) based on the best interests of the child. In order to do this, the court will look at the behavior of the parents. Parents who try to keep children away from the other parent actually increase the degree of parental conflict which increases the courts need to become involved as the other parent will voice his or her disagreement with the way they are being treated. The court will favor the parent whom they believe will best facilitate their child’s relationship with the other parent. In the midst of divorce a person may make rash choices, but the court, not wrapped up in emotions, will make strict decisions when someone keeps a child from the other parent.

The court will also look for each parent’s willingness to honor the time-sharing schedule and the ability to be reasonable when changes occur. They will consider each parent’s ability to take care of the child’s needs as opposed to his/her own. The mental, physical, and emotional health of the parents is also considered in making a determination.

 

Whether a divorcing parent is withholding the children purposely or unwittingly, it needs to cease. Social science research is clear. Children usually develop best and experience a healthier outcome when they have secure and loving relationships with both parents. A parents first concern should be the well being of the children. Children deserve two parents that are 100% committed to meeting the child’s needs in the best way possible. You may not have nice feelings towards your ex-spouse but this should not get in the way of doing what’s best for the child(ren). If you are having the urge to keep your child from the other parent, it is best to seek the advice of a counselor or therapist.

 

As a family lawyer, I am here to help you through the divorce process and offer legal support along the way. You can contact me at 904-241-0012 and learn more here:
http://www.jacksonvillebeachlawyer.com/jacksonville-beach-family-law-attorney/